"Healing the Soul" by Lawrence S. Perry, B.S., M.Div

Healing the Soul

Gathering for the Holidays

When I was active in parish ministry, there were times when someone would come into my office in a nervous mess.  After sitting down, they would explain that they would go through this anxiety as the holidays approached.  Their anxiety was rooted in the fact that some family member, a father, mother or sibling, was coming to the family dinner, and their presence would raise all of this emotional baggage!  Every time they would come, there were all these issues that they brought with them. Invariably, some time during the visit, old issues would creep into the conversation, and the family argument was on. If alcohol was involved, the matter often became worse.  

When presented with this problem, I often offered a simple solution. Before the visit with that family member, the host could define the boundaries of the family visit. They could lay down the rules as to what were acceptable topics and what were not. If the affected party could not abide by the rules that were laid down, it was suggested that they may want to reconsider their decision to join the family. It was their choice. There were, however, other occasions when a situation called for more than establishing boundaries.  What was needed was the healing of the soul. 

Healing the soul, or sometimes called healing of memories, was a Christian technique that was used by practitioners who were skilled in addressing painful memories of an individual. I had learned of this practice when I was in seminary and attended a workshop by Francis and Judith MacNutt.  Francis was a former Roman Catholic priest, but who left the order. He, however, continued to lecture and write a number of books that were read throughout the Catholic and Episcopal Churches.  

What is Soul Healing?

Allow me to answer by sharing an example.  One day while sitting in my office, a woman entered in tears. She quickly got to the point and told me that her husband was leaving her.  She was devastated!  I then began to question her as to the issues in her marriage. As we talked, it became clear that the possible divorce was a serious matter, but there was a deeper underlying issue going on in her soul. Abandonment!  So, I continued my query and began raising questions about her previous relationships. It was no surprise that I quickly learned that she had a plethora of relationships where she was left behind.  As hurtful as the possible divorce was at the time, she was devastated by the fact that she was going to be abandoned one more time. My question was, where was this cycle rooted?  When did this fear develop? Like a criminal detective with each question I got closer to the answer.  At that point, I asked her about her relationship with her father. She confided in me that there was always the fear that he was going to leave her. "Tell me more", I retorted.  She then began to share a vivid memory that had plagued her all of her life. In this memory, she was able to recall every detail. She told the story as if she were reliving the event.

When she was quite young, she shared that she was attending school in a small Wyoming town.  Her dad had picked her up from school just as a storm was beginning to hit. And like always, the wind was howling and the snow was spitting. As they reached the out-skirts of the town, the car died. Her dad then told her that he had to walk back to town to get some help and she needed to stay with the car.  As a seven year old, she could not understand why she could not go with her dad. From the back seat as her face was pressed against the back window, she watched her father disappear into the dusk.  With tears in her eyes and with the Bronco swaying back and forth from the fierce wind, she felt abandoned and feared her father would not return.  In addition, the wind was blowing so hard she feared that the Bronco would roll over. After giving me every detail of the event, she opened her eyes as the tears were once again flowing. She relived the event as if it had just happened.

Immediately after revisiting that memory, we sat back and examined the event. Then we stopped and entered a time of prayer, praying that the Spirit of God would enter that memory.  After a time of prayer, I ask her if she would be willing to go back into the memory. This time there was going to be an exception. I asked her if she could image Jesus being there with her.  She agreed to relive the memory.  She was instructed to once again close her eyes, hit the play button, and begin to describe every detail of the memory.

As she shared the event once again, she was immediately comforted by the fact that Jesus was in the vehicle with her. Although He did not speak, he was visible. He had placed His arms around her. Then she mentioned that she was cold. From out of nowhere, it struck me and I asked what she was wearing. "A dress," she replied. I questioned her further about the location of her coat. She said that she did not have one! It was a moment of revelation.  I could see her face was now filled with a sense of peace, and she fell asleep in Jesus' arms as she waited for her father to return.

After that second time of reliving the memory, we once again discussed the event.  From the perspective of a little girl, her father had abandon her. Now, as an adult, she understood the dynamics of the event.  Her father was trying to protect her from the elements. When he left her in the Bronco, it was an act of love. Even more important, she experienced the real presence of the Christ in her life.
Was Jesus really in the memory?  From my perspective, he was guiding us along the way. In the end, the memory of that fearful event was not the original, but a transformed memory of healing. Yes, she ended up in a divorce, but she was no longer harboring feelings of abandonment. Was the healing event real? Did I somehow manipulate the session?  I'll let the facts speak for themselves.

Healing of the soul is not a new phenomenon; I was reminded of this fact in John's Gospel 21:15, the reinstatement of Peter.  As you may recall on that night that Jesus was arrested, Peter, when confronted by a number of individuals, denied that He knew Jesus nor was he one of his followers, not once, nor twice, but three times. So, when Peter sees the resurrected Christ for the first time, Jesus asked, "Peter do you love me?"  The apostle answered in the affirmative. Then, once again, Jesus asked Peter, " Do you love me?" Again Peter affirms his love. If that were not enough, the question is put to Peter a third time! Why was the question asked three times? Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, knew the answer before He even asked. Peter, however, needed to erase from his memory his denial of Jesus and affirm his love to the man whom he stood before--the resurrected Lord of Life.  

In this short presentation, I condensed a two-hour session to just a few paragraphs for the sake of brevity.  In the mean time, allow me to leave you with these questions. How long have you been carrying around your hurts?  Do they still hold you hostage?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could heal our hurtful memories and those of our children and grandchildren immediately after experiencing an emotional trauma? We need not be prisoners of our past! In my next episode, I'll share with you the steps of healing the soul.